Queen Anne Chonk & Co

Good morning, Crawlers! I built a new thing!

For the past week, I’ve been working on a completely new Build Your Own Lootbox builder for the shop. The old one worked, mostly, but I wanted to make it easier to use and give you more options.

You can still build a box with your favorite stickers, but now you can also unlock special prices on shirts, mugs, and other loot when you add 10 or more stickers to your box.

Which brings me to today’s announcement.

NEW QUEST! UNPAID BETA TESTER!

I replaced a perfectly functional piece of software with something I built myself.

The smart move would be to put this whole thing through rounds of well-organized beta testing. But where's the fun in that? Instead, I've decided to buy my customers help with FREE STUFF.

Sooo... Build a box, place an order, and if you feel like it, try to break something. Seriously: permission granted to fuck around and find out.

REWARD: A FREE Emergency Benefactor Box!

What's that, you ask? An Emergency Benefactor Box contains two mystery stickers, handpicked by us. We won’t duplicate anything in your order.

I'll throw one in FREE with every Build Your Own Lootbox order placed today, Thursday, October 29th. It won't show in your cart, but we'll make sure it gets packed with your order.

Why? Because it's more fun to buy your test data with free stickers and cheaper than hiring a QA department.

BUILD A LOOTBOX AND BREAK SOMETHING

If you find something broken, weird, confusing, or just plain stupid, please let me know. Seriously. I’d rather hear about it from you than discover that I’ve accidentally been charging $400 for a sticker a month from now.

Thanks for helping me test this.

Now get out there and K... well, you know.

Phil

P.S. If everything works, you still get the free stickers. I’m not actually requiring you to break anything. That would be an awful business model.

CLAIM YOUR BENEFACTOR BOX

Thursday, October 29

I spent a few days in Las Vegas last week, and you crawlers were EVERYWHERE.

I’m used to running into the occasional Dungeon Crawler Carl fan out in the wild. Someone recognizes my shirt or thebig-ass DIIIIIIWATTAAAA sticker on my car, we talk about the books for a minute, and go about our day.

Vegas was different.

The security guard checking people into the hotel pool? He was a crawler.

The woman making me an 11 AM Dirty Shirley at Milk? Crawler.

The guy at the gas station who stopped me to talk about my shirt? Also a crawler. He said, “20 years ago, we were the nerds!”

Buddy, we still are (and I wouldn't have it any other way!)

Then I sat down at a poker table and two of the other players were crawlers.

Either there was a secret convention nobody told me about, or we’ve hit the point where you can’t throw a rock in a casino (pro tip: don’t throw rocks in a casino) without hitting someone who’s ride or die for GC, BWR, NW Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk.

I spend a lot of time alone in my shop making stickers and other cool shit for people who love the same weird stuff I do. Most days you show up as order numbers and shipping labels, so it was a lot of fun to meet some of you in person.

So thanks to the Vegas crawlers who made my my trip better. And if you ever see a guy in an IWKYM hat out in the wild, come say hi. There’s a decent chance it’s me.

Unless I’m losing at poker. Then give me a minute.

NEW ACHIEVEMENT!

You’re surrounded by nerds.

Reward? The nerds are the reward!

Phil

Shop IWKYM · Find Your Crawler Record · File a Complaint

Mongo: The Halloween Aficionado 20 oz Engraved Tumbler

The Good News About Dungeon Crawler Carl - Special Edition Vinyl Sticker

Unity, Support, Family, and Kneecapping Bitches T-shirt

I Am Yelling Carl Canvas Tote Bag

Viva La Revolución Carl Canvas Tote Bag

Prepotente AAAAAH Canvas Tote Bag

Princess Donut Yelling Vinyl Sticker

Mongo Is Appalled Vinyl Sticker

Princess Donut - 'A Lot Of Babies In There' Vinyl Sticker - Dungeon Crawler Carl Fan Art

You Will Not Break Me Vinyl Sticker - Dungeon Crawler Carl Fan Art

Viva La Revolucion Carl Vinyl Sticker

Goddamnit Donut Vinyl Sticker

Friday, October 23

Hello, Crawlers!

You people have been busy.

Since I opened the Crawler Record Lookup, thousands and thousands of records have been pulled from the archive. You’ve looked up yourselves, your spouses, your dogs, your kids (Sorry, we dont have access to kinder facility and so, so many cats.

But you still haven’t found everything.

I hid a bunch of stuff in there that you might not see in the normal results.

There are one-off classes, inventory items hidden in there, and a few results with a decent chance of no one ever seeing them.

I’m not telling you how many, who they belong to, or what you have to type to find them. Some have been found already. Most haven’t.

GO POKE AROUND THE ARCHIVE 💣

We've also given away a LOT of stuff.

Ten people have already won Celestial Boxes with personalized Dungeon Anarchist’s Bathroom Readers, and I've completely lost count of the number of Benefactor Boxes.

One in 50 doesn't sound like a lot until thousands of crawlers show up to loot your inventory.

If you uncover something sus please share it it. I want to see what you find!

Now get out there and i... Well, you know.

Phil

Viva La Revolución Carl Canvas Tote Bag | Pride Edition | Dungeon Crawler Carl Fan Art

Mongo: The Halloween Aficionado 20 oz Engraved Tumbler

Mongo: The Halloween Aficionado Tee

I Am The Way Motherfucker | Uzi Jesus Water Bottle - 32oz

Outraged And Appalled Car Window Decal

Why Would A Stripper Lie To Me? Car Window Decal

Thursday, September 24

Helloooo, Crawlers!

I made something weird this week. I mean, weirder than usual.

You know how the mudskippers keep records on every crawler who entered the dungeon?

Well, I built a Crawler Record Lookup.

Put in your name and it’ll pull your official* file from the archive, including your crawler number, class, last known inventory, and how you eventually exited the dungeon.

It is extremely useless, but entertaining in that delightful, “oh, I got sexed to death by an incubus” sort of way.

Just for fun, I also hid some prizes in there.

Some crawler records have real loot attached to them. Actual, physical IWKYM loot that I will put in a box and mail to your house.

1 in 50 records gets a Benefactor Box with two mystery stickers. 1 in 250 gets a Celestial Box with a personalized Dungeon Anarchist’s Bathroom Reader.

And once a month I’ll pull one registered crawler’s record and give them a Build Your Own Lootbox with six stickers of their choice.

If you know someone who’d get a kick out of it, send them the link.

Then go look yourself up.

And look up your cat.

LOOK UP MY CRAWLER RECORD

Good luck down there.

Phil

*Official in the sense that I made it up and put it on the internet.